[For heading, see Ch. 1]

7. In Which Memories Begin and Betrayal is Dreamed


I woke up with the sun against my eyelids and fought to snuggle deeper into my
bed. Keroberos saw the movement and pounced on me instantly, causing me to open
my eyes fully at the sight of a gigantic puma crouching on my chest. I “oofed”
and he licked his paw, sitting on me worriedly. Then, he started licking my
face, a concerned look beyond his whiskers.

“You’re going to have to grow out of that,” I said.

“I only do it to you anyway. And, only when you’re hurt,” he replied, licking my
nose.

“My nose isn’t hurt!” I tried to push the slobberer away from me, but I was
pinned.

“That’s not the point,” he said as he stopped. “Are you alright?”

“I don’t know,” I said softly. “I feel strange. Like there’s someone inside of
my soul.” I hugged myself for a moment and realized that it wasn’t a really
uncomfortable feeling. In fact is was comforting.

The door creaked open and I watched as a strange being entered, grabbing a bowl
of soup by the handles Clow had designed for Keroberos. Setting the bowl beside
the bed, it rubbed the jewel on its forehead with a paw for a moment and then
focused its sapphire eyes upon my violet ones, “You’re awake, then?”

“No. Still sleeping,” I replied.

“Sarcasm is much admired,” the animal said slowly, unfurling ebony butterfly
wings. “I am Spinner Sun, a friend of Ruby Moon. I am afraid that it was her
fault that you didn’t recieve the full instructions for the care of the spell
you were given. Your injury is partially my fault.”

“It was my fault,” I replied and then turned my eyes away from both of them.
Mostly, I turned away from Keroberos’ anger. He was right to be angry. He had
every right. But, I still wanted to return to my dreams of Clow. So, I closed
the amethyst orbs that alighted on my pillow and rolled over under the sheets.
And, they let me sleep.


-`-

I was watching them silently from a place where they couldn’t see me. The
shadows covered my still form and even the soft glow that radiated from my body
was hidden from their eyes as I fought to cover a laugh.

“What do you want for dinner?” Clow asked, flipping the pages of a cook book
silently.

“Pudding,” Keroberos replied happily, licking a claw. “Vanilla. No, bread! Bread
Pudding!”

“You can’t have pudding for dinner. You have to wait until dessert,” Clow said
patiently.

“I don’t care! Everything else you make is horrible! Let’s have pudding! Lots of
it! Tons! Gallons! Let’s cook it all day!” Keroberos said happily, he tripping
as he danced around the room and landing in a wash-tub with his paws sticking up
in the air.

Clow-sama laughed and brushed off his flour covered hands, “Keroberos, how could
I deny anything you demanded? Tonight we will have gallons of pudding.”

“Really?” his eyes bulged out of his hands.

“Really.”

“Why?” he asked, a suspicious look crossing his face.

“Because, I love you more than pudding,” he replied non-chalantly as if the
phrase was simple to him.

“More than pudding?” Keroberos asked, dumbfounded.

“More than anything,” Clow responded, taking down the sugar and then reaching
for the pans.

That was all I needed to hear. The momentary anger that filled me brightened my
glow and I stormed from my hiding place in the kitchen, past a quite confused
Clow and Keroberos. I slammed Clow’s door and barricaded it with the bed and
bureau. Then, I shut the window and shielded it roughly.

“More than anything, Keroberos!” I mimiced, throwing a pillow across the room as
I pouted.

I fell to the floor and crossed my knees, as I heard a shallow knock on the door
through the cabinet, bureau, bed and other assorted furniture. Clow didn’t even
fight to get in. He simply knocked.

“Yue?” I heard his voice through my barricade.

“What?” I demanded.

“Let me in,” he said, sternly.

“No,” I said, crossing my arms in front of my chest.

Suddenly, I felt a waft of magic as wards crisscrossed throughout the room and I
felt the furniture suddenly return to where it had been. I cursed and took my
barrier down from the window and summoned my wings with a flourish. Just as I
was about to take off, I felt a stir of Clow’s magic as he ordered my wings to
dismiss themselves.

“Fine,” I said, sitting down again. “Be that way.”

-`-


I woke up to see a small creature sitting in front of me. The small animal
looked like a tiny yellow teddy bear with a long tail and two feathery wings. A
get-well gift from the groundskeeper, perhaps? I tilted my head to one side and
poked it softly.

“Hey! Whatchit! I’m not poking your soft stuffed insides am I?” the thing
declared and I jumped back a few feet. “Wait! No fair! You don’t have soft
stuffed insides!”

“What are you?” I demanded.

“Keroberos, Guardian Beast of the Seal,” he replied. “And, Protector of all the
Cards Ruled by the Sun!”

“No way,” I shook my head hard and poked the creature again. “Prove it! What’s
your favorite food?”

“Pudding!” he replied.

“That was an easy one,” I said.

“I wonder if you’re this moody, paranoid and narcissistic in your earthly form,”
the creature replied.

“I wonder if you’re this egocentric, annoying, and manic in your celestial
form,” I replied, holding the thing up by its tail. Suddenly, wings sprouted
from the thing’s back and covered it in a soft golden glow. The Clow symbol
appeared at its feet glowing a bright blue as the magic swirled momentarily and
from the cacoon of wings appeared a familiar, puma-like head. Keroberos shook
his fur firmly and stretched his wings before mumbling, “That is strange! But,
amazing how much more compacted magic usage is in it. You try!”

“Not a chance,” I replied.

“Pleeeeasse?” he asked.

“Fine,” I mumbled and wrapped my wings around my body, quickly accessing the
spell that Clow had given me, the blue glow appearing beneath my feet as I felt
the magic surround me like a dozen snowflakes. Suddenly, as the Clow Symbol
faded I was... nowhere. I whipped my head around. Where was I?

“Hello?” I yelled. “Hello?!” Then, I slowly fell asleep in the place that was
nowhere and I dreamed. And, within that dream... I was someone else. Someone
else with different memories and my heart felt warm again.


Keroberos stared as my wings drew back, revealing a small humani with dark
glasses and soft golden eyes. I shook my head with a frustrated sigh and looked
around confusedly for a second.

“Strange, isn’t it?” Keroberos asked.

“Quite,” I replied. “Am I dreaming?”

“’Fraid not.”

“I must be a dream! Animals can’t talk,” I said as he crossed my arms in front
of my chest.

“You’ve come up with better insults, Yue. In fact, the one you said earlier was
much better,” Keroberos said, licking a paw as he sat on Clow’s bed. His tail
twitched slightly.

“My name isn’t Yue,” I said softly. “I think you mean someone else.”

“Ehh?” Keroberos trailed off softly and I and smiled.

“I’m Tsukishiro Yukito. It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

Keroberos fell off the bed and hit the floor.

“And, since this is a dream you can call me Yukito.”

I woke up from the dream with a scream and felt the cacoon of wings unwrap from
me as I transformed back to my celestial form. For a moment all I could get out
of my mouth was unintelligible babble, but then I caught my breath as the Clow
Symbol faded beneath my feet.

“That was not right,” I whispered. “There’s someone inside of me.”

“It’s because you tampered with that damn spell, you moron!”

“It’s like it broke me in half and one half has the memories of all this- of you
and of Clow- and the other half has nothing but heart,” I frowned and tapped my
jawline for a moment as I pondered this. How could anything I did make something
so extreme happen?

Keroberos cuffed the side of my head, “You’re lucky to be alive. Now we really
have to select a new Master and get you put back together again.”

“I want you to drop it Kero,” I whispered, using the pet name that Clow had
given him.

“Why? You need my help!”

“No, I need a Master’s help. I got myself into this, and I’ll get myself out of
it. When I have the magical support of a Master or Mistress, I’ll be able to
bind the two halves together again,” I whispered and then I frowned. “I don’t
want him knowing about you.”

“Why not?” Keroberos asked, jumping down from the bed and standing on all fours.

“Because, I don’t. If I can’t have my heart, then the memories of you and Clow
will stay mine and mine alone,” I snapped. I wasn’t going to tell Keroberos:
“Because, I have no intention of choosing a Master.”

“Fine. Fine,” Keroberos whistled. “Keep ‘em to yourself.”

Then, Keroberos stepped out of the room and grabbed the unsealed Book of Clow in
his jaws and returned, setting it down at his feet. “Time?” he asked softly.

“I miss him,” I said, bending down to hug the giant puma.

“Me too,” Keroberos said.

“Then, it’s time,” I said as my fingers slowly closed the seal.

-`-

“Love comes in many different forms Yue,” Clow whispered as he sat down beside
me. “And, it takes time to grow. All that I said was true- I love both you and
Keroberos more than anything. Perhaps I love you both for different things, but
nonetheless, I find spending time with both of you a thing dear to my heart.”

“But, who do you love more?” I asked, a sniffle rising in my chest.

“You would make me choose?” Clow replied.

I was silent for a moment as I stared at Clow.

“You are both like my children and I love you both more than anything,” Clow
added.

“You seem to say that more than you say anything,” I said bitterly.

“When I made you, Yue. I gave you the body of an angel and the heart of a human
being. Perhaps, you have more emotions than Keroberos. I don’t know. What I do
know is that you seem to have one emotion he doesn’t,” Clow said.

“Which one?” I asked, bending up on one knee so that we became eye level. Him
looking down on me felt strange.

“Jealousy,” Clow said softly, stroking my cheek softly. “You worry that you
aren’t enough, Yue. That’s a very human trait. Don’t worry that you aren’t
enough. Instead, know that I love you, both of you, with all my heart and that
no other beings on earth take up more space in my heart than you.”

“But, then why did you say that you love no one else more than me?” I asked.

“I don’t. I love both you and Keroberos equally,” he replied and tweaked my
nose.

“I’m bored of your riddles,” I whispered.

“No, you aren’t yet. You will be soon though,” he said with a mysterious and
knowing smile as he stood up and offered me a hand. I took it questioningly and
then he bowed and gestured towards the kitchen.

“Care to help with a couple gallons of pudding?”

        -Ch. 7 End-