Title: Moonlit Garden Author: Tabris_17th (aka Celtling) Fandom: Card Captor Sakura Pairing: Touya x Yukito, Touya x Yue Rating: PG Warnings: *** SPOILERS for Yukito's true nature! *** And some shounen-ai. Feedback: Is always adored celtling_jedi@hotmail.com Thanks to: All the ppl on the ccsyaoi list, who are still cool ^_^ Disclaimer: I don't own nuffin'... oh you've heard it all before. This fic occurs in the same timeline as "Tell me that I'm Real", but is set much later. This was inspired by one of the most gorgeous pictures I have ever seen, a wallpaper which can be found at: http://www.anothergloomyday.net/xeno/artistic/clamp/between800.jpg When I saw it, I knew I had to write _something_, and here's what I came up with. Hope you enjoy it! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- Touya drifted awake slowly, though he wasn't sure what woke him. He couldn't pinpoint any sound in particular, and it was dark enough that dawn was still a long way off. He blinked sleepily and rolled over - only to have his arm fall across an empty bed, the sheets cold. He jolted more fully awake. "Yuki?" When there was no response, Touya sat up and quickly scanned the room. Empty. His mind slowly caught up with his body, and placed him in Yukito's bedroom, which meant that there should definitely be a Yukito that went along with it, somewhere. But he was alone. After a moment, Touya lay back down, hands laced behind his head, staring up at the ceiling. Yukito probably just went to the bathroom, or to get a drink, Touya figured. But then he remembered the coolness of the rumpled sheets and sat up again. Maybe he was worrying unnecessarily, but it was always better to be on the safe side, even if Yuki would tease him for fussing. He swung his legs over the side of the bed and stretched to his full height, then padded barefoot across the room and down the hallway. The bathroom door was cracked open slightly, showing only a strip of black; no lights were on within. Touya frowned slightly and continued on to the kitchen, but it, too, was empty. "Yuki?" He called out more loudly this time, but there was no response, setting his heart beating a little faster. An investigation of the remainder of the house gave no further clues to Yukito's whereabouts, and Touya hurried back to his bedroom to drag on a t-shirt and pants over his boxers. A dozen scenarios ran through his head, he picked the most likely of them - there was trouble with Sakura and Yue had gone to help. But surely Yukito would have woken him, or at the very least left him a message? Not if it was urgent, Touya realised, the thought chilling him. Yue would've surfaced immediately, and wouldn't have wasted the time. He didn't even stop for his shoes as he flew down the hallway and out the front door. He was already unchaining his bike when the flash of white he had seen to one side of the garden registered through his panic. He straightened, taking another look. Though the figure was half hidden behind a tree, there was only one person it could possibly be, with silvery-white hair spilling down to his feet, and wings folded neatly upon his back. Yue. The relief was overwhelming. Yukito was safe, there was no trouble with his sister. Confusion rapidly followed, and then a thread of irritation. What was Yue doing, scaring him like that? The Guardian was facing away from him, standing in the middle of the trees with his head bowed, and didn't seem to be aware of his presence. Touya leant his bike back against the wall and headed back across the grass, cool under his bare feet. "Yue?" Yue spun to face him, expression startled for a moment, before it smoothed into blankness again. His long rope of hair had caught on his shoulder as he turned, and he reached up to flip it back again carelessly. "Touya." There was something different about Yue, Touya thought, frowning. As he approached he realised what it was - he was looking down to meet Yue's eyes, when usually he had to look up. The Guardian seemed to prefer floating a foot or two in the air, but for once, he was standing upon the ground. "Yue, what are you doing out here? I was worried when I couldn't find Yuki in the house." Touya was certain he caught a flash of guilt before Yue could mask it. He realised that his question had come out sounding something like an accusation, though he hadn't intended it that way. He'd just been panicked, and the adrenalin was slow to subside, robbing him of tact. "I'm sorry. I will return your lover to you." Yue's wings rose from his back, spreading wide and then curving around in front of him. "Yue, wait!" There was something Yue's tone, something in the way he phrased the statement that made Touya call out, surprising even himself. Yue paused with his wings outstretched, one eyebrow raised. "Stay a little while, Yue?" The request must have caught Yue off guard, because he made no attempt to hide either his surprise, or suspicion. "Yes?" He asked coolly, obviously requesting Touya get to the point. But Touya hadn't had anything in particular in mind, and wasn't even sure why he had asked. There was just something about Yue standing out here in the moonlight that had seemed so... wistful, he realised. Yue seemed somehow sad. "Why are you out here, in the garden?" There was silence for a few moments, and Touya watched carefully as Yue turned away from him, reaching out a slender, graceful hand to touch the leaves that were unfurling from the tips of a slender branch. "I like the garden," Yue said finally, defensively, slanting a glance back at Touya as if expecting a challenge or mocking retort. "I like it out here, too." Touya defused the accusation by providing no ammunition that Yue could throw back at him. But his words weren't mere platitude; he liked what he saw as his gaze swept around the courtyard. Yukito's garden was well-tended and flourished under his gentle care. The trees provided a canopy of shade in the summer, and the flowers around the border were currently in bloom. He turned back to the Guardian, who was still examining the foliage. "Why are _you_ out here, Yue?" Touya asked, altering his inflection to alter the meaning of the question, but taking care not to sound as if he were making an accusation. Yue shrugged, an oddly mundane gesture at odds with the Guardian's otherworldly appearance. "The moon is full tonight. I felt a little restless, but I did not wish to disturb Yukito or yourself." Touya's eyes were immediately drawn to the sky, the full moon indeed in evidence against the backdrop of star-pricked black velvet. It hadn't occurred to him that this event was tonight, or that it would have an effect on Yue, but thinking about it, it didn't surprise him. Did Yue feel this way every time the moon became round? Touya wondered suddenly whether Yue felt confined, even trapped within Yukito's subconscious. Though he'd spent time watching Yue, observing his actions, he knew little about his thoughts. Touya looked back from the moon to the Moon's Guardian, the earth-bound form standing so still amongst the trees which towered above him. Yue suddenly looked small and fragile - and lonely. Touya's tone warmed. "I appreciate the thought, Yue, but it's not necessary. You know, you can come and talk to me anytime. I don't often get the opportunity to spend time with you, but I'd like to know you better." "Why?" Yue demanded bluntly, almost bitterly. Touya nearly recoiled at the tone, but caught himself in time, not wanting to alienate Yue more than he already had. He took a few moments to think his answer over carefully before he spoke. "Because you're part of Yukito, or Yukito is part of you. Different facets of the same jewel, remember?" Touya smiled as he echoed the words Yue had originally spoken to him. "It comes to the same thing, for me. I care about Yukito, and I care about you." He could see the conflict in Yue's face - obviously torn between wanting to trust him, and keeping his distance, using his cynical disbelief as a barrier to keep himself protected. "Care about me? You don't even know me," Yue rebuffed, catlike eyes narrowing, the defensive instinct seeming to have won for the moment. "Not yet. But I'd like to," Touya countered with a smile. Yue realised that he'd just argued in a circle and scowled with irritation, turning away again. Touya had to suppress his amusement at seeing the Guardian of the Moon, sulking. He didn't want to offend Yue yet again. Silence followed, and Touya let his thoughts drift as the night air brushed cool fingers against his skin. Yue and Yukito - so utterly different, and yet the same person, within. He wondered whether it was wrong to want to touch Yue as he touched Yukito, to feel that long, silken hair against his face or the lithe body arch beneath his hands. He didn't feel guilty wanting Yue - nobody with even a hint of sensuality in them could help but want him, as graceful as a dancer and as beautiful as light glittering in the dark. But Touya didn't want Yukito to feel betrayed, either. His thoughts took another turn. On the other hand, was it wrong to hold this part of Yukito distant? He'd told Yukito that he loved him - all of him - and that meant Yue as well. What could he do? What _should_ he do? It was a question with no easy answer. He turned back to observe Yue staring off into the distance, hand clasped in front of him. For a moment he looked younger than he usually did, his expression unguarded, and Touya's decision was made for him. Yue needed something - someone - and who else was there for Yue to turn to? Eriol had already replaced him, and his Mistress, for all her affection, was still a child. But how on earth was he to go about gaining Yue's trust? He was tossing the question about in his mind when another caught his attention. What was Yue really doing in the garden? The full moon hovered benevolently above, Yue's symbol dominant in the sky, waxing synchronously with his power. But when he'd first seen Yue out here, he hadn't been looking up, Touya realised, with a sudden revelation. He'd been looking _down_. "It feels good under your feet, doesn't it?" "What?" Yue asked, looking back to him, startled. "The grass." Touya gestured to Yue's feet, as bare as his own. Yue's eyes widened in unfeigned surprise, and Touya was pleased that he'd guessed right. Almost immediately, however, Yue took off up into the air, sash fluttering. He hovered with his head slightly above Touya's own, as if he was deliberately trying to prove the taller boy wrong, or that he was above such things as walking barefoot through the grass. "Yue," Touya sighed, in fond exasperation. "Please come back down here? I didn't mean to offend you." Yue bobbed slightly in the air, wings rustling, but he made no move to return. His expression was disdainful, superior, so different from the one Touya had seen just a few moments ago. Stubborn Guardian, he thought, bemused. Outwardly, he simply shrugged, taking a few idle steps to savour the cool springiness, feeling the blades tickle the instep of his foot. It reminded him of his childhood, of summer days long gone. "My mother used to sit out in the garden." He found himself speaking the memory aloud, as if somehow the words could re-conjure the scene. "She'd do her sewing, making every stitch so carefully, even though half the time they were in the wrong place and she'd have to unpick them and do them all over again." It brought a smile to his lips. "And I'd run around or climb the trees, chattering all the while, and she never minded. She liked being outside, with the birds twittering away, keeping us company. Yuki's garden reminds me of those times." Those days were gone, but he held onto the memories tightly. They were all he had left of his mother, since he'd given up the ability to see her to save Yukito's life. The decision hadn't been easy, but he knew she would have approved of his choice. "Kereberos liked to sit in the garden when it was sunny." Yue's voice was unexpected, and Touya half-turned to find the Guardian had come to land beside him without even a whisper of sound. "He'd chase butterflies, or roll about on his back with his legs in the air." Though his tone was disapproving, Touya could hear the affection buried within it, and smiled to himself. Yue continued. "Sometimes Clow would sit outside upon the grass to keep him company, with a book upon his knee. I usually sat nearby, under the shade of the trees. If Clow noticed me, he would begin to read aloud, so that I might listen too. His voice was rich and always held me captivated..." Touya could feel the sadness of Yue's words and wanted to comfort him, but he knew Yue would reject any attempt to try. He could do nothing but empathise, and perhaps allow Yue to share a little of his pain. "I miss my Mother, too," he said quietly. "I know she's watching over me, but I miss talking with her, and seeing her smile when I come home from school." She'd always had a smile for him, even when he'd had grass stains on his knees and tears in his shirt. "She always wanted to know how my day had been, and if I'd eaten my lunch." "I miss making his tea for him." Yue rejoined, surprising Touya again. "Kereberos could never get it right, so Clow trusted only me to make it. When I brought it to him, he would always stop whatever he was doing to touch my hand and thank me." Touya smiled at the picture Yue painted with his words. It was difficult to imagine this unearthly creature doing something so domestic, but it was clear that the memory made Yue happy, and he was pleased Yue chose to share it with him. "I miss being tucked in at night. Father always says goodnight from the doorway, but mother used to come in and tuck the blankets around me." "I miss having my hair brushed. His hands were so strong, but he was always so gentle with the tangles." "I miss playing the piano with her." "I miss being held..." Yue trailed off, and then there was silence, as both nursed their own grief. Touya thought of his mother, her image hazy in his memory. And then his thoughts turned towards his father and his sister, their images sharp within his mind. His family. Yukito, his lover. He was so blessed, to have them all; to have those he cared for, those who cared so much for him. And then Touya looked up to catch the silver-violet eyes, gaze intent. "You're not alone, Yue." Yue said nothing, but his eyes widened, shining in the moonlight as tears welled, quickly blinked away. He was so close, close enough to reach out and touch, but Touya didn't dare, for fear of frightening him and breaking this ever-so-fragile bond of trust that Yue had given him. "I'm here, Yue. If you need me. If you want me..." He knew what he was offering, and he offered it with the whole of his heart. But Yue simply stood opposite him, held immobile with indecision, the conflict evidenced by the flickering deep within his eyes. Touya, in turn, was held trapped within the silvery gaze, barely daring to breathe. Until he felt something settle lightly against his chest, and he looked down to find Yue's hand templed over his heart. He was surprised that it didn't stop altogether. Yue took the final step, closing the remainder of the distance between them until they were very nearly pressed together, Yue's palm now flat against his chest. Touya suddenly became very aware of the difference in height, as he looked down at the snowy white crown of Yue's head. And then Yue tilted his face up to look at him, hesitant and unsure, desire warring with his fear. In response, Touya bowed his head, not yet finding Yue's mouth, but giving him access, if he wanted it. His eyes drifted closed, body held taut, lips parted slightly in anticipation. He felt Yue's other hand clutch at his t-shirt. For a moment, he thought it was insecurity, and then he felt Yue's weight shift and realised that it was to steady him as he tipped forwards onto his toes, stretching up. Touya had to resist the temptation to take the slender creature in his arms with everything he had. Yue paused, and time slowed to a standstill as Touya waited. He was so close that he could feel Yue's breath ghosting against his cheek. But the kiss never came. "I wish..." Yue whispered, and then there was a breeze of movement, and Touya opened his eyes to find the Guardian standing several paces away from him. His chest felt cold with the absence of Yue's hand. "Yue?" But Yue said nothing, just stared at him with longing and the sadness he could no longer hide, and swept his wings up into the air, folding them about himself. They had almost closed when Touya leapt between them. He saw Yue's eyes go wide with shock, and then complete darkness fell as the wings meshed around them both, soft but strong against his back. One arm found Yue's waist, curving around to hold the slender body against his own. The other cupped the back of Yue's head as he tilted it up and pressed his mouth down. He wasn't surprised that Yue's lips were cool, but he hadn't expected them to be sweet. Like ice-cream on a warm day, the thought flickered through his mind. But Yue was remained still, frozen against him, and he was about to draw reluctantly away when Yue's lips began to slide against his. All rational thought fled as a flame was ignited deep inside him. Touya felt the pair of arms that slipped around his neck, felt the press of the body against his own, and felt Yue drag his head down to kiss him harder. It robbed him of breath, sense, sanity; everything but the taste of sweet moonlight in his mouth, and the blaze within him that demanded more of this creature, even as Yue demanded more of him. He wanted to claim Yue as his. But suddenly the darkness blazed with light so bright that he was blinded, and magic tingled against the bare skin of his arms and seemed to swirl from Yue's mouth into his own. He felt the form against him shift subtly. The mouth against his rapidly warmed and softened. And then the light faded, and he was standing upon the grass in Yukito's garden once again, his lips pressed to his lover's, Yuki's soft grey hair framing his vision. He drew away from the kiss slowly, smiling at Yukito's dazed expression, and the flush across his cheeks. Yukito was breathing more rapidly than usual, and Touya felt a little light-headed himself. "T-To-ya?" "It's ok, Yuki, everything's ok," Touya reassured him, as Yukito looked about himself with confusion. Yukito nodded and gave him the most trusting of smiles, but a hand trailed up to brush his fingertips across his lower lip thoughtfully. The gesture was adorable, Touya thought, wanting to capture that hand and kiss those fingers himself, but there was an odd expression on Yukito's face that prevented him. Yuki tilted his head in puzzlement as he let his hand fall, obviously putting the pieces together. "You were kissing me." Yukito paused, and then amended, "You were kissing Yue." Touya was for once unable to read Yukito's expression or tone. It didn't sound like an accusation, merely a statement of fact, as if Yuki was making sure he had figured everything out correctly. It required a response, Touya knew, and his insides fluttered nervously. He didn't want to hurt Yukito, but he owed him the truth. "I was. He needed me. He needed me like I need you." Yukito's hesitant nod of acknowledgement turned to a smile of pleasure. He craved being wanted, needed. And Touya did need him; needed him desperately, with every part of his being. Yukito was everything to him. He realised suddenly that he wanted Yue because he was a part of who Yukito was - an independent, arrogant part who would never admit it, but a part nonetheless. "Come back to bed with me, Yuki?" Touya held out his hand in invitation and Yukito took it shyly, with a nod. Touya gave it a squeeze, and led him back into the house. Touya knew it wasn't the end of the conversation. They had issues to sort out, the three of them. But he hoped that once he explained what had happened, Yukito would understand, and sympathise with his other form. As for Yue... well, Touya thought that the next time they met, they'd have some talking to do. Or perhaps, they wouldn't need words at all. Owari!