This brings me to the next stage: my yuri obsession. Sailormoon is probably the most yuri-friendly anime in existence (with perhaps the exception of Oniisama e...). It has a full-fledged and canonical lesbian couple, Haruka and Michiru, and plenty of other yuri implications. I adore Haruka and Michiru fanfics. *_* And I've written a Chibiusa and Hotaru fic (they're also a great pairing). I'm still a big yuri fan, but I balance it out with yaoi much more now.

During this time, for reasons I can't exactly remember, I started reading Yuu Yuu Hakusho yaoi (KuramaxHiei/HieixKurama). It's good stuff. *_* I wouldn't say I was absolutely _obsessed_ with the pairing, but I liked it a lot. ^_^ So, until about 1999 I was reading a lot of yuri with some Sailormoon, YYH, EVA, FY, and MKR yaoi mixed in.

It wasn't until the beginning of 1999 that my conversion really started to happen. I can't remember what happened first, but it basically centred around Cardcaptor Sakura and getting tapes of Kaze to ki no uta, Zetsuai since 1989, and Ai no Kusabi. Touya and Yukito from CCS especially were the cause. I became very obsessed with them, and wrote "Touya no shinjitsu no kimochi" in the summer of 1999. From CCS I started getting into other CLAMP yaoi (mostly CLAMP Gakuen Tanteidan, and Tokyo Babylon/X).

Then..._it_ happened. "It" being Gundamwing. March 2000. I had known about Gundamwing yaoi from the beginning, but it didn't seem to interest me. I had seen the first two episodes in 1998, and I hated it (I hate most shounen...). It just seemed to be all about wars and fighting and...blah stuff. I much more a shoujo fan than a shounen fan. Anyhoo, with Gundamwing coming out (ha!) in the states, it just sort of reminded me that there was GW yaoi. I think I might have been bored one night in March (or procrastinating from studying for some unknown exam or something) and I decided to read a fanfic or two. At first I was so confused... I had no idea who any of the people were, what they looked like, what they were supposed to act like, etc. So, I went to some sites, went to image galleries, read profiles, and stuff like that. Then I just sort of started to...eat the stuff up. It was really amazing. When I read everything one archive had to offer, I'd be at another, trying to find any fics I hadn't read yet. ^^;; After a short time, pairing preferences began to emerge. DuoxHeero and TrowaxQuatre. Before 2x1, I never really _got_ the semexuke thing. I mean, I understood the mechanics of it, but didn't understand how one could have a *preference* toward a particular seme or uke. I mean, they just took turns, right? Heh. Then I realised I really did prefer Duo as and seme. Mostly, I think, because it shows Heero loves, trusts, and *wants Duo in control*. I don't mean control all the time, but just for that particular moment. Though I do think that having one seme and one uke all the time would get boring. And I still love 1x2. I just prefer 2x1. ^_^

As a whole, actually, I probably like the "traditional" uke (i.e. weak, submissive, shorter :p) in the seme role. Actuallly, when I think about it, this has *everything* to do with feminism. If the uke is really just a coded female (and, let's be honest, he is a lot of the time, especially in Japanese doujin), he shouldn't be dominated or weaker than the seme (or "man"). He should show assertiveness and be every bit as strong as the seme. All relationships should be equal.

But I don't read yaoi for (coded) het sex and romance. I read it for *gay* sex and romance. Girls love m/m romance and (especially? :P) sex. Some gay guys do like it and write yaoi (and sometimes they think we women are really silly for getting gay relationships all wrong ^^;;;). I think of yaoi and yuri couples as gay, yes. Some of you might be thinking: "Well, of *course* they're gay! They're same-sex relationships, right?" While this is true, a lot of yaoi fans don't think of the characters (or the relationship) as gay. I _think_ they believe that, in the anime and manga world, every character could swing either way, making the terms "homosexual" and "heterosexual" irrelevant. Err, I think. o.O;

For me, using the term "gay" has a certain appeal. It's like....it comes with a tremendous amount of societal baggage...and if the characters are labelled "gay" it's like they're saying "fuck society, we're going to love who we want to love, and there's not a damn thing you can do about it!" Or something... ^^; It has to do with perceived gender roles, and what's really "normal." Of course, that's just my point of view. ^^;; It's hard to say which view is more prevalent, though I think it's the former.

So, I think that's pretty much it. Now that I've been really really into yaoi for about two years, I can't even imagine what I used to do with my free time before. o.O